Special Edition: A Takeover on Mental Health as a Parent

Hello!

I know you are expecting a newsletter from Jake, but he is taking the week off and has asked for me to fill in! My name is Lauren, and I am Jake’s assistant. But more importantly, I am his sister 🙂

I may not be a psychiatrist, but I do have a degree in psychology, AND I have some different life experiences than Jake, so I hope you like this special edition of Dr Jake's Mental Health Moment! 

This week we are going to talk about balancing parenting, marriage, and personal mental health, a journey that is real, relentless, but remarkably rewarding. I have four kids, ranging in age from 2-13. As a parent navigating the highs and lows of raising children,  I’ve stumbled upon a few truths, learned some hard lessons, and discovered strategies for safeguarding my mental health and fostering a supportive environment for my family. Here are three of them - 

The Balancing Act: Maintaining Mental Health While Parenting

Parenting is not just about raising our children to be good humans. It is also about discovering our strengths, limits, and everything in between. Over the years, I’ve learned the importance of setting aside time for self-reflection and self-care. My kids are all in sports, and so am I! I play tennis several times a week, even if that means missing a bedtime or a cheer practice here and there. I read, I hand embroider, I garden. When my little ones take a nap, I give myself permission to sit and recharge with a book or a show. The cooking and cleaning can wait! You cant fill their cups if yours is empty.

I’ve come to realize that taking care of myself is not selfish; it’s essential. A happy, healthy parent is better equipped to meet the demands of family life. So, I encourage all parents to find what fills their cup—be it exercise, hobbies, or time with friends—and make it a non-negotiable part of their routine. Self-care is family care.

Communication is Key: Discussing Mental Health with Our Kids

One of the most powerful tools we have as parents is open communication. Talking about emotions, mental health, and the importance of self-care with our children not only destigmatizes these topics but also equips them with the understanding and vocabulary to express their feelings. Remember, it’s not about having all the answers but about creating a safe space for these conversations.

My kids tell me about their crushes, when they have a fight in school, or that they are angry at their sibling. I try to listen and not judge. And most importantly, I ask if they want advice or if they are just venting.

They also each have a copy of Psychiatry for Kids. Although this looks like a shameless plug, I would have loved this book whether my brother wrote it or not! It is SO important for kids to understand their mental health. Link HERE to get a copy for the kids in your life.

Strengthening the Bonds: Nurturing Marriage and Partnerships

In the whirlwind of parenting, it’s easy to put our relationships on the back burner. However, nurturing our partnership is crucial for a harmonious home life. My husband and I make it a point to schedule regular date nights to ensure we stay connected as partners, not just as co-parents. We play tennis together, even though I know he doesnt love the game and just enjoys the time with me 🙂 We also watch a show together each night. Our brains are fried from the tasks of the day, but just sitting next to each other in silence is enough to connect us at the end of the day.

My Favorite Things

Each week, Jake includes a few of his favorite things. This week it’s my turn!

Recipe of the week - I am not a recipe follower. So as a twist, here is what I always try to keep prepped in the fridge and closet so the kids can grab a healthy snack, since as you know they are ALWAYS hungry!

1. string cheese

2. apples, oranges, cut up fruit

3. hard boiled eggs

4. cut up celery, carrots, peppers

5. yogurt (drinkable and squeeze are the easiest and don’t require a spoon!)

6. peanuts, pistachios, cashews and other nuts

7. raisins

8. dried fruit (if anyone makes their own I’d love some tips cause these are $$$!)

Item of the week - THE NORTH FACE Women's Never Stop Mini Backpack

I tend to fill the space that is available, especially when it comes to bags. This backpack is small but mighty! It fits all that I need without giving me room to throw the whole house in there. Been carrying it for over a year and has held up great! You can buy it here!

Person to follow this week - @runtellmom aka Shelley Kemmerer, a Physician Assistant who focuses on parental burnout. She creates content about caregiver strategies to reduce burnout and improve family health and wellbeing. Follow her here!

Book to read this week - I love to read! Last year I read I read 34 books, and hope to read more this year. My favorite book I read last year was The War That Saved My Life. This is technically a book aimed for middle schoolers, so it is a great book to read with your kids. But as an adult who read it myself after it was recommended by my mom - it is definitely not just for kids.

I use my library app to read books for free! But if you want your own copy you can buy it here.

Lauren’s parenting tip of the week - Take your kids outside! We are trying to spend 1000 hours outside this year, and even if we do not hit that goal, my family is so much happier outside.

Closing Thoughts

In stepping into Jake’s shoes this week, I hope to have shed some light on the importance of mental health in the realm of parenting. Remember, it’s about progress, not perfection. And in this journey, know that it’s okay to ask for help, to take a break, and to prioritize your well-being.

Thank you for welcoming me into your inbox this week. May you find joy, strength, and peace in the beautiful chaos of parenting.

Warmly,

Lauren