Can Therapy Can Change Your Life?

Happy Sunday friends!

For those of you who live in the U.S. and are lucky enough to have President’s Day off, happy 3-day weekend! I hope you are all spending some time relaxing & recuperating. You deserve it. And for those of you working and grinding this weekend (hello healthcare workers!) I understand that too. You’ve got this.

This week, my wife Ari finished her LAST night shift of residency and I surprised her by doing this:

Safe to say, she loved it!

P.S. for those who were asking for the recipe for pardulas, I’ll link it at the bottom of the newsletter 🙂 

Today, I was hoping we could talk about therapy. I recognize that all of you are coming from different backgrounds, with different resources, and different views & opinions of therapy. I grew up with a lot of stigma about therapy. To be fair, my only exposure to therapy was in TV & movies where the sessions looked a lot like this:

…and the therapist would stroke his long white beard and say something straight out of a Sigmund Freud textbook like, “I see… it appears that you have unknowingly repressed your outward urges of infantile nature…”

So - I avoided therapy for years.

However, when I started experiencing depression in residency a few years ago, a friend recommended that I try therapy out.

I was in a pretty dark place at the time and figured, “screw it, what do I have to lose…?”

I started therapy the next month. Within a few sessions, I started to feel a lot better. Much like soccer & gardening are outlets for my stress, therapy was an outlet for my emotions. There is something immensely therapeutic about speaking aloud thoughts & feelings that have been living in your head for months or years.

Today, I recommend therapy to many of my patients, and I personally see clients as a therapist myself!

I put out a thread last week asking you all the ways therapy has changed your life. Here are just a few of the responses:

1. Other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.

I used to be really bothered by people who said hateful or negative things about me. What therapy taught me though was that people’s judgements of me are usually reflections of their own insecurities.

• That person who commented, “so cringe”, on your photo is probably hurting, and lashing out at someone on the internet to feel better about themselves.

• That coworker who you found out has been talking about you behind your back? They are probably self-conscious about their own work performance & want to put someone else down to make themselves feel better.

• Understanding this truth allowed me to be more comfortable and even empathetic toward people voicing negativity about me.

  

  2. Just because I THINK something does NOT mean it is true.

  This one is HUGE and it took me years to learn.

  Thoughts do not always equal reality. In fact, most of your thoughts are not factual. They are influenced by various factors such as emotions, past experiences, and beliefs.

  Here is an example:

  After doing something embarrassing, have you ever had the thought “why am I always so awkward?”

  Now that we know that thoughts are not facts, let’s challenge this thought:
  
  “Am I ALWAYS awkward? Hmm, no I don’t think I’m ALWAYS awkward… Are there times that I am awkward? Sure… but there are plenty of times where I’m not. We are all awkward at times. I have friends. People seem to enjoy me. Therefore, I CAN’T always be awkward.”

  By recognizing the difference between thoughts and reality, we can begin to reframe our thoughts. This can reduce unnecessary stress and anxiety.
  

  Summary? We have now REFRAMED our thought from “Why am I always so awkward?” to “There are times that I’m awkward, but that's common for everyone, and most of the time I am not awkward.”

3. Negative thoughts lose their power when said aloud.

   Self explanatory here!

Okay, so maybe you are thinking about starting therapy. Or you used to have a therapist and want to resume therapy. Where do you even start?

I recommend starting here:

This website is how I help patient’s find therapists. It’s pretty convenient because you can put in your Zip code, insurance, type of therapy (in general, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - CBT is a great place to start) and preference for in-person or remote. By the way, I have no affiliation with Psychology Today and do not work with them in any capacity. I just think they do a good job at helping people find a therapist.

And as promised - here is the Pardula Recipe!

I also have a few of the baking items used in my Amazon Storefront!

Thanks for tuning in for Week 7 of your 52 Week Mental Health Tool Kit! Talk to you next week!

Disclaimer: This e-mail message and any content attached to it are for educational and informational purposes only, and nothing herein is intended to be, or shall be construed as, medical advice, or as a substitute for medical advice. Any reliance on such information is expressly at your own risk. My newsletter will always be free but this post does contain affiliate links, which may earn commission at no additional cost to you.